If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
