gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
