OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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