After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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