Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
