I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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