My nipple is on Facebook.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
