He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
