Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im six kinds of drunk right now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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