Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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