I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
