"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
