Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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