It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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