just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
