dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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