He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
