she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
