Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
