I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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