I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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