Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
