I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
