Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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