i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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