Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
