i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You smell like stripper and shame
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
