I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
