just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
