let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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