don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
