yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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