He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
