I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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