hotel room ftw
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
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