You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
