dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
