8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
