Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
