I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
