I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i've created a new STD.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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