well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
