there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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