what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
