can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
