So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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