This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
