She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
