Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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