i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
