just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize