you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
