You work out of a Hotel?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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