Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
