About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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