The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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