I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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