I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so let's talk penis.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
