the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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