In the future we'll all be gay
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
