barbara walters just said penis...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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