My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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