He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
